Okay so this post is going to be an absolute mess because I’m a mess so I’ll try and make sure everything makes sense but no promises! I added the screenshots ‘cos this was quite lengthy so I thought it’d break it up a bit.
So a while back 24K announced they were coming back to Europe but instead of doing concerts they were going to be doing fan meets. I was over the moon and then I found out that my two best friends who also like K-Pop would be in Berlin the week 24K came. So if I wanted to meet them I’d have to go by myself.
Now I don’t particularly mind doing most things by myself but I was terrified at the thought of going to meet them by myself. I’d met them with Becca in Amsterdam and I’d lost my shit then.
Me and Becca are the ones at the end on the left.
There were a few different types of tickets, you could get standard where you didn’t technically meet them (until they announced they’d be giving a hi-five to standard and early bird tickets like baes) or you could get like gold and silver which came with all sorts of stuff. I didn’t know what to go for but my friends convinced me to get a gold ticket which included a fan signing, hi-touch and a photo.
The day arrived and the anxiety was real. It didn’t help that I literally managed to fuck up so many things – I’d planned to wear this one specific t-shirt and I could not find it and I was stressed about that so I ended up having to pick a different one. Got to my hotel in London and I was rushing ‘cos the doors were opening at 3 and it was already past 2 so I was like “Right I’ll leave now” and realised that even though I’d be in the room for about five minutes I’d lost the key (it was under the bed somehow)? I found that and then nearly left without my ticket and I was honestly just generally a mess haha!
I got to the queue and I got given number ‘93’ and joined the back of the Gold queue. I was in that queue for like an hour awkwardly on my phone ‘cos everyone was in their little groups and I’m too shy and awkward to even attempt to make conversation with anyone so I was just chilling by myself in the rain feeling a bit miserable but then the doors opened and we all went inside and the anxiety got even worse oh my god.
So we had to sit in order of your number so it was in rows of 10 and there were 100 gold tickets so I was in the back row which was fine by me, I hate going first. I need to see what everyone else is doing before I can do it myself – I don’t know why; I just need to know what’s happening. So 24K came out and we had the fan signing first and I was really nervous. My friend once posted a tweet about how different people feel anxiety in different places and how she feels hers in her wrists which I thought was strange ‘cos I normally feel it in my stomach but last night I 100% felt it in my legs like I was convinced I wouldn’t be able to stand up when it was my turn.
Eventually after what felt like a lifetime it was our rows turn so we got up and we each got given a poster to get signed and we had a sticky note with our names on. Got to the table and the first person there was Kisu. Now like I’m awkward at the best of times but I don’t know any Korean like at all and I didn’t know how good their English was (except for Cory obviously) so I was convinced I wouldn’t know what to say or do but it was absolutely fine.
I met Kisu and he was so sweet, he pronounced my name like ‘hoe-zie’ and he was like “Hi! I’m Kisu! Nice to meet you!” I’m pretty sure I do this weird thing where I like nod my head awkwardly so I start doing the weird nodding and I’m like “Yes, nice to meet you!” And he smiles and I smile and he pushes the poster onto the next member which was Jeunguk.
He was drinking water when I came over and he put his hand up but like he was holding a marker so I was confused about what he wanted me to do so I waved at him and he raised his eye-brows and I was like “ah I’m supposed to touch his hand” so I did and he laughed. He pronounced my name in the same way Kisu did. I’m pretty sure he talked to me more but like I was already a wreck at this point so I can’t remember so he moved the poster down to the next member which was Cory!
You’d think I’d kind of chill out ‘cos Cory’s fluent in English but he’s my bias so nope still awkward as ever. He was like “Hi! Hozzie! I think you definitely win having the most original name tonight!” so I was like “Ahaha thank you” and he grabbed my hands and was like “Thank you; have a really good time tonight!” So I start doing more awkward nodding and being like “Ah thank you, thank you.”
My interactions with Changsun and Hongseob were mostly the same, a lot of “nice to meet you”, hand holding and me just generally being awkward. Then I get to the end and it’s Jinhong and he went “Hi!” so I went “Hi!” And then… He didn’t say anything else. He signed my poster and then kind of looked at me and I didn’t know what to do so in the end I blurted “IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU” and I’m pretty sure he said something but I had no idea what he said and like every other fan has said, he has an intense stare man and I was folding under the pressure so I like took my poster and went “Thank you!” and walked away before I did something stupid.
Then we had the hi-touch which is a lot quicker than the fan sign so you just walk down and hold their hands for a second. Kisu was saying “I love you” to everyone and I could’ve said ‘I love you too’ like a normal person but I decided to go “Aha yes thank you”??? We had the photo taken and when me and Becca had ours taken in Amsterdam we literally plotted and schemed so that we could be in front of Cory and Kisu but I didn’t have her there to scheme with so I just went wherever I ended up. I don’t know where I ended up to be truthful. I wanted to do a heart with one of the members but I don’t have the confidence for that so I went for the peace signs, they’ve never let me down.
UPDATE: So uh they posted it and I look awkward af but at least I’m in front of my bias?
So that finished and they went backstage and we all went to the barriers then they came back out so they could greet all the early bird and standard ticket holders. A few people had moaned that it was unfair that we had to pay extra to meet them which early bird and standard were essentially getting for free but it was a lot quicker than we’d had and personally I thought it was really sweet 24K had decided to do that. I could only afford a gold ticket because like I’m an adult and I have a job, there was once a time when I was a teenager and I had to go for standard tickets because my parents refused to buy more expensive tickets and I would’ve been over the moon if a group had done that.
After that the event started and I could talk about that but I know tons of people on Twitter have done threads about the Q&A and I remember it being really funny, like 24K are actually hilarious but my memory is absolutely awful so I’d have to refer to everyone’s threads and it would take all night and I’ve already rambled on so much so I’m going to jump straight into what was possibly the best thing that ever happened to me ever.
So they finish the Q&A and Cory and Kisu jump straight into the letter event which I’d heard about last month. Basically fans were asked to write a letter to 24K and at the show 24K would announce like their favourite one and whichever fan wrote it would go on stage with 24K. I’d seen the announcement and had taken a screenshot and sent it to my friends like ‘This sounds awesome but I don’t know if I should do it?’ To which they responded:
The thought of meeting 24K was enough to make me feel terrified so I really didn’t know if I wanted to be on stage with them but I thought fuck it, I can write a letter right? They’ll never choose me but they’ll still get to read it and know what they mean to me. So I did, I spent like over an hour working on this letter and it was quite personal about something that had happened before I went to their show in Amsterdam and just general things about how amazing I thought they were and other stuff like that.
To be honest I’d mostly forgotten about it until the show when we were doing the fan signing and they were all pronouncing my name and looking at it as if it was the first time they’d seen it so I assumed they hadn’t read the letter and like I was okay with that.
So Cory starts talking about how he wants to dedicate this song to all of us but also one specific fan so I’m like ‘ah cool the letter event’ and he was like “It’s for one girl, she wrote about how we inspire her” and I automatically thought ‘oh okay it’s not me then’. Because like I assumed he meant inspires them musically? To be musical? If that makes any sense at all? And then he said something along of the lines of “She really opened up to us and obviously I won’t go into the details because it was quite personal and can we all be nice about it please” and I was like well I did get personal in my letter but it won’t be me and then he’s like “Her name’s Hozzie.”
For a second I like blacked out like I’m pretty sure he carried on talking and I have like no recollection of what was said or what was happening. Now I’m a pretty quiet person unless I’m around people I’m comfortable with so like it’s pretty rare for me to think ‘ok I’ll be loud’ like I don’t even like yelling “I’ve finished all the notices” to my colleague who is one bank of desks away from me at work, I will email her ‘cos I don’t wanna be too loud. But my friends will vouch for me, when the panic sets in, I will become loud. About a month ago my friend won a game of Bingo but was too scared to call it and when I figured out she’d won I screamed “JESS!” at the top of my lungs across a silent bingo hall. I panic, I become loud.
So of course I was like ‘shit it’s me, it’s me’ so I legit yelled “THAT’S ME!” and threw both my hands in the air ‘cos like fuck being scared, I was not gonna miss this opportunity. I was losing my shit, everyone around me was losing their shit all cheering and Cory’s like “Oh cool, can you join us on stage?” and I had this like moment of ‘what the fuck is happening’ where I couldn’t figure out where to go or what to do but everyone pointed me in the right direction. I remember Cory being like “We didn’t even have to reveal your last name because your name’s so unusual”.
I got onto the stage and one of the members was there to walk with me to the centre but I’m like losing it at this point, I’m shaking so bad I don’t even know which member it was. And there was this chair facing away from the crowd so I sat down and Cory’s like “Is it okay facing this way or do you want it the other way?” I was so nervous already I knew looking at the crowd would be a bad idea so I was like “This ways fine” and they like all walked off and the lights went down and I’m just sat there like ‘well shit, things got very real very fast.’
The music for ‘Honestly?’ starts and I’m just sat there not knowing what to do ‘cos like what the hell do you do? And I just oh my god, here is what I do remember:
– I remember seeing Cory, Kisu and Jinhong a lot like way more than the other three members
– I had no idea where to look or what the hell to do, I’d be looking at the members then I couldn’t handle it and I’d have to look away haha!
– Cory had the cutest smile when he was singing to me I just I can’t
– They all held my hand at some point and I just what
– One member, I couldn’t even see which one put his arm around me and I was just sat there being an awkward bean
– Another member played with my hair for a second like yes boy
– Kisu KISSED MY HAND AS IF I WASN’T MELTING ENOUGH AS IT WAS
– One member was already holding my hand and Cory came up behind him and started holding it too and I just, Cory’s smile was so beautiful oh my god
– It got to like the middle eight of the song and Kisu gave me a flower and I just I don’t even know how I was still alive at this point
– Hongseob is so cute I just
– The song ended and they’re all in front of me doing these cute poses and I’m like oh my fucking god
– One of them hugged me, I was so like starstruck that I don’t know who it was but I was over the moon – UPDATE: According to a girl on Facebook it was Hongseob ^_^
– What the hell do you say to that? I was sat there and they like all looked at me and I was like “well thanks” like an awkward person
– The song ended and one of the members was like “cheer up” and I don’t know if that was in reference to my letter or the look I had on my face but I’ll get to that in a second
– They were like “Thank you!” And I was still sat there so Cory like held his arm up like ‘you need to leave’ so I was like ‘ah here’s my cue’ and I left
– One of the members walked with me off stage but I was too shy to make eye contact
So basically what was happening with my face was a big concern because a couple of years ago I met Pierce The Veil and I went over and Vic Fuentes was like “Hi! What’s your name?” and I was like “It’s Hozzie!” and he was like “Hozzie? Well, we’ve been waiting for you Hozzie.” And I legit died on the spot so the guy with my phone took the picture and well…
I WAS SO HAPPY IN THAT PHOTO. DO I LOOK IT? NO. I LOOK LIKE I WANNA BLOODY CRY. IT LOOKS LIKE THEY’RE HOLDING ME RANSOM OR SOMETHING? Clearly I develop sad face in situations like this so I cannot even begin to imagine my damn face when all this was going on ‘cos like it was intense, I’m just gonna put it out there. So rest assured that it was the best moment of my life and if I looked sad, it’s because my face is weird.
The rest of the fan meet happened but like I was a mess. I was thirsty before I went up but I came off and it was like I’d been in the Sahara desert for three weeks so I like walked over to the bar and asked for a tap water and the woman was like “Yeah, I bet you need one now” and I was like “aha yes”. I was just stood at the back messaging my friends because in that moment I just really needed some moral support from my main hoes.
Also, I’m just gonna put this out there, 24K fans are so nice and chill. Like I went back over to the crowd at the end for ‘Bingo’ and ‘Superfly’ ‘cos I’d kind of calmed down by this point and I was stood by this group of girls and they started talking to me and they were all like “Oh how was it? I bet it was awesome.” So I was like “I’m dead inside now, I can’t believe it.” And this girl smiled and went “Aw, you really deserved it.” And like the way everyone around me lost their shit and cheered for me when they found out it was me even though none of them had spoken to me before that moment? Like they all had every right to be salty but they weren’t – I found one girls thread and she said her and her friends even started chanting my name and I just? 24K fans are honestly the best.
We weren’t supposed to take photos or videos but I hope someone sneakily did ‘cos like I went there by myself and I’m messaging everyone like ‘I WENT ON STAGE WITH 24K OMG’ and luckily my friends know that I wouldn’t bullshit about something like that but it would be nice to have some proof. If I find any I’ll update this post and add them.
Also, I was nervous about meeting 24K because of like general anxiety but there was another thing. I’m so insecure about the way I look. And like I’ve seen the Korean beauty standards and I’m a size 20 and most days I think I’m ugly as fuck. I didn’t for one second think they’d say anything about it but I don’t know, it made me ten times more nervous but the fact that they were all so sweet has made me feel so much better.
I’ve been feeling so down this year, like you would not believe how much of a shit year I have had. But like I feel like I can put all that behind me after last night. I have to go back to work tomorrow and it’s gonna be such a downer because I had the best time ever and I will never get to relive that.
But yes if you ever get the chance to see 24K, 10/10 I do recommend! Apparently they’re preparing for their next comeback so let’s all emotionally prepare ourselves for that.
I’m just going to apologise for the sheer length of this post and how my basic grasp of English disappeared (fuck knows how many times I used the word ‘like’ in this post) but I just really needed to write it out. Since I was by myself last night there was no one I could fan girl with and I got maybe four hours sleep last night ‘cos I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. I’m shook like honestly.